Saturday, August 11, 2007

The Online Age

by Wizard

The hour was late. Life was boring. He hadn’t had a decent fuck in months, and the woman he’d hit on last night came on like a PMS-Bitch-from-Hell, ramming her thigh into his blue, blue balls not once, but a dozen times. At least that is what he had been told when he came round afterwards. He was depressed and lonely. Even his friends were getting fed up with him and refused to come round. He got out his favorite PornBoy mag but the ache in his testicles put him right out of the masturbating mood. He flipped through the TV channels listlessly when a thought struck him.

He went over to his aging but serviceable 486 “Speed Demon” machine and fired up Netscape. He brought up the Infoseek screen and, with his recent painful experience in mind, entered “balls” and hit the search button. Hmm. “A-Ball Plumbing Supply”, “Mr. T Ate My Balls”, “Ball Lightning”, “the amazing RUBBERBAND ball !!!”. He tried again with “nuts” and came up with “Nuts & Volts Magazine”, “Beer Nuts Brand Snacks”, “Mixed Nuts”. Not what he was looking for. Ah, yes! Testicles! “Stages of Cancer of the Testicle” was not very promising. Nor was “Undescended testicle repair”. Next, he tried “groin” and got “SportsFeed Hockey” and “GROIN PAIN”.

Finally, he combined “groin” and “kick”. “People are Talking: Health: Study finds 10% of boys get kicked below the belt, often by a girl.” Damn, he thought, the anger in him welling. They are teaching these females at a young age how to stick it to us males! How unfair! “Groin Kick Prompts Assault Charge”. Ah! That’s more like it! Sue the bitch! Wait a minute! What’s this? “V E L V E T - K I C K / GALLERY. Wicked, sadistic dominant high-heeled women who beat, kick, knee and brutalize men’s' balls and testicles with their feet. Sexy dominatrixes trample, torture and humiliate submissive men in their groin.” HOLY SHIT!

OH MY GOD! There are pictures here. There’s movies here! They actually show innocent, sweet young girls who are just ripe for a good fucking how to dominate and control their men with brutal – and effective! – kicks to his balls! How to knee! How to grab! He felt his face flush red with anger and the throbbing in his own beaten testicles reminded him of how vulnerable he was! A girl could learn how to lull him into a false sense of security and sexuality, flaunting her delicious breasts in his face, tantalizing him with short, short skirts, stockings and high heels, smiling at him and giving him a hard-on, distracting him and clearing a direct path to his tight, vulnerable, easy to hit balls!

With a crash, he fell right off his chair! When he had calmed down a bit, he found something else. A forum! As he read, he got more and more angry. These fools actually liked it! The many men, and a few women, posting actually got a kick out of kicking! Like these females need any encouragement, he thought as he cupped his swollen nuts. I can’t take it! I must do something. The women cannot be allowed to dominate the men! This disturbs the whole natural order of things! Women should be made to jump in my bed any time I want it! I should be able to freely pinch butts, cop a good feel of breast and nipples, thrust my hand down panties! No way should I have to beg the women not to crush my testicles and leave me rolling helpless on the floor before her! NO! NO! NO!

“Revenge will be mine,” he vowed. It was easy. As easy as the way that cow kneed my balls! He made stupid, incendiary post after post, cleverly imitating the names of regular posters. There were no passwords to hold him back! It worked! People got mad. They posted “FUCK YOU” posts of their own. They vowed never to go back again. It was like the flame wars all over again. How he laughed! He invited his friends over. They all laughed so hard at these losers and kept pressing the “submit” button again and again. They got mad over the multiple posts! Soon half the traffic on the site was given over to the posting of the “imposter”. Oh, there were some who suspected. There were some who said he couldn’t spell. But these posts themselves spawned their own responses! He made up story after story, all the time taking the persona and names from the forum itself.

Just when he knew he was winning, disaster struck! Or rather, it felt as if a sledgehammer had struck him right in his still sore balls! He squeaked and fell off his chair! His friends stared at him in disbelief – until as a man they suddenly grunted, doubled over and grabbed their own nutsacs! Someone’s girlfriend laughed at them all and left. The men tried for the door, but one by one, they yelled, folded in the middle and crumpled to the floor clutching their testicles. Even on the floor, they reacted as if a horse was kicking them in the groin over and over, jumping and crying out every few seconds as another wave of agony burst over them! The girl had returned with more girlfriends and sisters and carried a video camera, but she was laughing so hard she could barely keep it steady and had to place it on the table. All too soon, the men were unconscious and the women’s laughter slowly subsided. Climbing over the prostrate males, they checked out the computer screen and slowly it became obvious what had been going on. Why the men were all on the floor now was a bit of a mystery, but what the idiots had been doing was clear – trying to screw up an innocent on-line forum! One which gave them ideas! Oh, they were going to have great fun when this lot finally came round!


The Queen of Voodoo slowly dropped the doll to the table. For hours now, she had been torturing the squishy rubber “balls” of the Voodoo doll! Various pinchers and clamps were on the table before her. She winked at her customer, and they checked the forum once more. No sign of imposters! It had worked! Traditionally such Voodoo dolls required a piece of the victim – such as a hair or fingernail. But it was now the on-line age and new methods were called for. She picked up the doll and ran her finger over the numbers pinned to its chest.

“Well,” she said, “it’s a good job you could look up the IP number of this jerk, Yoda!”

He smiled and then said “Look here, some new woman is posting saying she has an interesting video to share…”

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