By nutcracker sweet
"Supercalfragalisticexbealydoshis? What the fuck is that, Moira?" Fionna snarls at her younger sister, who is sitting across the cheap card table from her, smiling smugly. "Damn your hide, girl." Fionna up ends the table sending the Scrabble board flying and wooden tiles raining down, as she reaches to grab her sister, who has scrambled out of the chair and is beating feet towards the back bedroom. The enraged Fionna easily overtakes her kid sister and grabs a handful of Moira's hair, stopping her short and slewing her around.
"OW! Damn it, Fionna, lemmego!" But the older sister just tightens her grip on the hair at the back of Moira's head as she wrestles one of the younger girl's arms behind her, bending the arm up painfully between her shoulder blades.
"Ouch! Stop it!" Moira whines through her tears, "I can't help it if you're dumber than a box of rocks!"
"Grrrr!" Fionna growls propelling her sister through the kitchen, releasing her grip only to boot her kid sister in her ass, sending her through the screen door and down the three rickety wooden steps to crash in a cloud of dust in the dirt yard, sending chickens and mongrels scurrying for cover.
Moira rolls over splayed in the dust to glare at her sister through teary eyes, spitting gravel from her mouth as the tears on her cheeks turn the dust to mud, giving her that half-crazed look of the Highland crofter from which she is descended.
"I… I… I'm… tellin' Mama!" Moira manages to sputter through the grit and tears.
Standing in the kitchen doorway, idling tossing Scrabble tiles down onto her sister, Fionna laughs, "You space cadet! Mama and Da are in New Hampshire, remember?"
"Then I'm tellin' Angus (their eldest brother)," says Moira as she slowly rises out of the dust. "He'll give ye what for!"
"Don't be a dumb bitch, Mo, ye know he'd kick the shit out of both of us if ye bother him with something like this!" Finished tossing tiles, Fionna is now tearing the Scrabble board into pieces and tossing them at Moira. Fionna finally descends the three stairs to stand toe to toe with Moira. "Nope, college girl, its just you and me," Fionna says, her breath like kerosene from drinking her uncle's whiskey, "and I'm a little sick of your superior airs."
Moira gulps. The only person that she has ever really been afraid of is her psychotic, yet loving, older sister. But Moira is a Macnutty, and the Macnuttys don't back down, no matter what the odds. So Moira takes the only course of action that seems to make sense at this tense moment.
"Hachphew!" she spits in Fionna's eye! Big mistake, Moira realizes as Fionna grabs her around the neck, places one booted foot behind her and slams her back to the ground, Fionna herself crashing down on top of Moira.
"OOOOOOF!" Fionna sits on her sister's chest, pinning Moira's arms down with her knees, and commences to slapping her sister's face. Moira is bucking like a mule to try to unseat her tormentor. Fionna's open palms first redden Moira's cheeks and then they split her lip and bloody her nose. Fionna stops her assault and leans back... possibly touched by a pang of guilt?
Nah! Just catching her breath to renew her assault...
But too late! Moira has taken this opportunity to hook her heels around Fionna's face and pulls her over backwards, slamming the back of Fionna's head into the dirt! With Fionna momentarily stunned, Moira scrambles to slap her sister, but figures, "What the hell, I'm going to pay dearly anyway...” So she balls up her little fist and bops Fionna on the end of her nose, drawing blood!
Fionna's booted foot lashes out to catch Moira squarely in her crotch. As Moira doubles over clutching herself, Fionna grabs Moira by the shirt, tearing it off to expose Moira's lacy black bra, as she pulls the younger girl to her, placing her feet into Moira's solar plexus and flipping her over so that Moira lands on her back.
The women laid head to head, gasping.
"Excuse me", the sisters start at the unexpected sound of a clipped Yankee accent. "Excuse me, gals, I hates to interrupt but I wonder if youse could help me?"
Fionna and Moira roll over to look at the stranger and then at each other, cruel smiles spread across their lips.
"Whal, ah'll be dipped in shit, mister, y'all a long way from Disneyworld...” Fionna drawls, her voice dripping with magnolia and honey. Moira just nods and smiles beside her.
"Oh hell, hot cakes, I ain't lost. I'm looking for one of the esteemed citizens of your little jerk-water town. And boy, I hope she looks as good as you two!" The stranger leers, winking and grabbing his crotch.
The sisters climb out of the dust, brush themselves off and wipe the blood from their faces with Fionna's shirttail.
"Who do you know around here?" Fionna asks stepping up to lean on the picket fence. Moira joins her sister after balling up the dirty and now bloody flannel shirt and tossing it onto the doghouse. Moira follows the man's gaze to her sister's ample bosom, thinking, "Wish I had the kinda tits guys gawk at."
Moira leans over the fence into the stranger's face, "Whatchya lookin' at, mister?"
Quickly meeting Moira's eye, "A truly beautiful site, darling." He turns to smile at Fionna, "The kind of hill country I'd like to spend the night exploring..."
"Phew!" Fionna snorts in disgust, "Who are you lookin’ for?"
"Oh, right, some snotty little split tail name of Moira Macnutty. Goes by the Internet handle of Nutcracker Sweet." Now he is checking out Moira's flat belly and pierced navel. "Excuse the language, ladies, but this Macnutty bitch claims to be a veritable fucking machine! Well, I've come to throw a wrench into her works!"
Before Moira can open her mouth, Fionna places a calming hand on her shoulder, "Easy, girl, this could get interesting."
The stranger extends his hand in greeting, "My name is Machunglikeahorse!" In response to the girl's stares, "That's right, of the Gotham City Machunglikeahorses!" First he shakes Moira's hand, and then he pulls Fionna close so that his left hand can pat her on her tight rump, "After I get done teaching that backwoods midget a lesson on how to satisfy a man, I just might let you two have a taste of this!" Again he grabs his crotch.
Fionna holds open the gate, "Why don't ye come on in for a beer? Then we'll hook you up with this Macnutty woman." She winks at Moira, who is standing behind the stranger pantomiming grabbing his balls and kneeing them. Fionna nods her head and then turns to lead Mr. Machunglikeahorse up the steps and through the kitchen door. Moira follows, gleefully rubbing her hands together, amazed at how her sister always takes care of her needs...and desires.
(more to be revealed)
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