Tuesday, September 11, 2007

A PUNishing Story's Sequel's Sequel: Elvis lives!

By confused_ed

Inspiration struck me today... I was listening to Elvis. (Hey, I might have been born after Elvis died, but that doesn't mean I don't know he rocked!) And just reading the songs on the CD... something cried out to me. And since I've been shit fighting so much here, and not having any fun at all... I thought I'd have some fun and post this here. (Translation: It's after midnight, I'm not tired enough to sleep yet, the post football game talk just ended, and I'm bored) :-D Now, I really don’t know how everyone will react to this, or how much of an Elvis fan you have to be to get the joke... but we'll never find out if we don’t try...

So without further ado...


Ok, this happened one night. My girlfriend asked me if I was lonesome tonight, why don't I meet her at the church she works at? Now the church was located in the ghetto so I had to take the bus there. My girlfriend was a very attractive red head, but she had what some might call, a suspicious mind. I got to the church and greeted my hard headed woman.

"Hi Amy! Your big hunk o' love is here!"

Without a warning, she muttered "It’s now or never" and kicked me way down. She kicked me full force with her blue suede shoes, and I went down. I laid there crying in the chapel. My balls were all shook up the pain was just too much!

I looked up to my burning love and asked her, "Why?"

She said, "I know all about visit to the heartbreak hotel with that hussy, what's the matter with you? Do you have a wooden heart or something?"

I moaned, "That was just a pen pal, just a friend... I don't have any feelings about her, cause she's not you!"

"Oh no!" She cried out, realizing I was telling the truth, "You must think I'm the Devil in Disguise!"

"Nah..." I said starting to get back up, "You know I just want to be your Teddy Bear."

"Oh..." She said happily, "A fool such as I just can’t help falling in love with you!"

Ok... that's it. I didn't know if I should post this because I didn't know how many people would know Elvis that well... if you're confused, check out this link...


That'll take you to an Elvis CD that has most of the songs I named. Of course by doing this I'm breaking the cardinal rule of punning... "Never explain and never apologize."

Alright, thanks for reading! Hope it got laughs, grins, or groans. And if you want to post something about this story... well, just "Don't Be Cruel"



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