Friday, November 30, 2007

Bobbi’s Heels Fade Away

By y_n0t_g0_4_1t

“That’s it” Bobbi concluded, “Poor Cliffy’s gonna get it tonight.”

Carla laughed as she raised her drink to cheer her, “I will if you will.” The clink of the glass sealed the deal.

“I can’t believe it?!” interjected a mid height chubby but youngish man. “Are you really going to… to…”

“To…? To…?” Carla mocked him.

“Were you eavesdropping?” Bobbi jumped in, feigning shock.

“I couldn’t help but overhear…”

The women laughed.

“My name is Tom, and you are?”

“I’m Carla and this is Bobbi.” Carla said as Bobbi offered her hand for a dainty shake. “And to answer your question, we were just playing with the idea, but we’re thinking about it.”

“My goodness,” Tom sighed.

Carla looked over to Bobbi, “You think this guy’s ever gotten it?”

Bobbi snickered as Carla looked over at him with inquisition. The look on his face gave him away and the women grinned at him mischievously.

“How ‘bout you? Have you ever?” Tom asked

“Please…” Bobbi said. “I thought you were eavesdropping.”

“Not since much younger days,” Carla responded. “Either of us.”

“Both of you are evil,” Tom said, shaking his head.

Bobbi leaned past her friend to stare down Tom. “You never know, but we might just be. Besides, I bet it did you more good than you think.”

“It always does” interjected another stranger, this time a tall and thin woman in her early forties. Carla and Bobby turned to her to see what she had to offer. “I remember having a dance with my brother-in-law last New Years, and the beer was making him frisky. I didn’t stop dancing, but gave him little a tiny tap that was just enough to change his tune.”

The women chuckled.

“I felt the attitude adjustment in my arms”

“Oh boy,” Bobbi said. “It’s been so long. You get to forgetting what a punch it packs.”

The forty-something’s forty-something friend leaned over and said, “You want to hear a funny one?” The women nodded. “When I had first gotten married, I used twist my fingers in the air just so to remind my husband of an unpleasant night we had when we were dating. It was just to tease him or get a last word in. One day I had my girlfriend over and I accidentally did it in front of her. He was so shocked he went upstairs and my girlfriend was shocked too cause she’d never imagine me rulin’ any roost. When he came back downstairs he was all actin’ like a man but it just wasn’t workin’. I just looked over at Pam and we giggled one and he just walked away.”

“Oh my God,” Bobbi gasped, “what did he say when she left?”

“Nothing,” the woman flatly replied. “He’s never brought it up and neither did I. Just as well. Whenever he'd piss me off, I’d make the sign behind him and if Pam was there we’d have a little laugh.”

At that Tom jumped up, “You women are a bunch of…”

Carla pivoted her barstool, got on her feet and, before poor Tom could put two and two together, planted a solid but mercifully restrained knee between his legs.

Turning away from the mess she made and back to the women she said, “My goodness, those men must think with those guys, hearin’ how they talk.”

“He had it comin’,” the tall woman remarked.

“We better get out of here” Bobbi said. She smiled to Carla. “Now I really want to give Cliffy his surprise.”

The women laughed and got up for the door.

Tom leaned on the barstool. It was the only thing keeping him even partially erect on one knee. The last he ever heard of them was the click of Bobbi’s heels fade away.


Bobbi made as much noise as she inconspicuously could as she walked in the house.

“Bobbi?” a man’s voice called from upstairs, “is that you?”

“Yeah, Cliff,” she replied with a slur, “It’s me.”

“I’m glad you’re finally home. You’re not real drunk are you?” her husband asked as he stepped down the stairway into the kitchen.

“What if I am?” Bobbi snapped back.

“Oooh. Didn’t know you were in a feisty mood. How was your night out with Carla?”

“Fine…” she tapered off as she put her head down on the table and started to breathe heavy.

“I hate it when you come home drunk like this.”

Bobbi replied by lifting her head just long enough to give her husband a scowl.

“C’mon, you better come to bed,” Cliff said as he grabbed her arm.

Bobbi jumped up and stepped backwards half stumbling. “Don’t you grab me,” she said as she began to nod her head.

“Bobbi,” Cliff said in a stronger tone, “you’re gonna wake up with a hangover, and it’s me you’re going to take it out on.” He stepped toward her, with his arm out and said, “Let’s go.”

Bobbi stepped forward and swung the pointy toe of one of the high heels that were hurting her all night into the front and center of the crotch of Cliff’s pants. She took a breath and stepped around the man and slowly made her way up the stairs. She sat on her bed and peeled the shoes off her tired feet and she reached into her purse for her phone.

She brought the phone to her ear and said, “Carla,” to command the phone to dial the number of her best friend.

Carla picked up the phone.

Mission accomplished, babe.”

Carla cackled so loud on the other end that Bobbi feared her recovering husband would hear it all the way downstairs. “How’d he take it?”

“Like a man.”

Carle chuckled. “Mine’s on the floor too.” And at that they laughed together. Bobbi hung up the phone and slipped into something more comfortable, jumped into bed, and waited for her husband to crawl in with an apology for her.

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