Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Police Control

By punchy

It is some time far in the future, and the first woman has been elected President of the United States. Shortly after her election, she issues an executive order terminating all male law enforcement officers, making both the civilian and military police a completely female force. She says that it's to stop an unusually high incidence of police brutality that started occurring recently. Women are less aggressive than men, she explains, but can be just as effective if given proper training.

As a response to this, a number of disgruntled male citizens begin a series of attacks on the female police force as well as female civilians. Violent crimes against women skyrocket, including a large number of rapes, murders, muggings and assaults. There is a public outcry, both from women, and from male citizens who have wives or family members who were victimized. The President is urged to do something to stem the tide of violence. She is scheduled to give a televised speech addressing the nation one night.

Finally, she comes on the air and speaks, "Fellow Americans. As we all know, there has been a recent rise in bold and violent crimes directed at the female portion of the population. I believe that this is the work of a small minority of male citizens who are insecure and threatened by the recent changes made in the police force. Most male as well as female citizens agree with me. I believe that we cannot let our actions be dictated by a small minority of violent individuals. It is my duty to protect all Americans, and I have been urged to take drastic measures to protect our female population. Most of these crimes occur between the hours of nine o'clock at night and seven o'clock in the morning. As an emergency measure, I am issuing a nationwide curfew over all male citizens during those hours. Police will be patrolling the streets everywhere to enforce this curfew. I am also ordering all male citizens to report to their local law enforcement agency within the next three months to be fingerprinted and registered in our database. Blood and hair samples will also be required. Such a large database will be very costly, and doubling its size would make no sense. We know that women are not responsible for these crimes so there is no need to burden our database with them. You must remember that this is only information gathering. It is not our intention to trample on civil rights. As for the curfew, this is a bit invasive, and it may seem like discrimination, but it is an emergency measure. Allowing women to feel safe after hours from rape and assault is the paramount issue. Thank you and God bless America." With that, her speech ended, and that was that.

Donald, a store owner, had kept his store open until midnight for the last ten years. Now, he had to send all of his male employees home at eight thirty, so that they could get home in time to obey the curfew. He also had to hire new female employees and extend the hours of those that he had. In addition, they started to demand more money, as they were now in a position of high demand for any job that required work after hours. Worst of all, he had to leave his own store at eight thirty, and cede control to a female employee, as acting manager.

At eight twenty-five, his employee, Katherine, yelled over the loud speaker, "Guys, it's time to get going, the curfew's about to start. That goes for customers too. Any male customer must proceed to checkout immediately." With that, he, and his male employees, started to gather their things and head out, and all of the male customers scrambled to get in line, while the female ones casually kept shopping, as if nothing had happened.

As he was walking out of the door, a male customer asked him, "Hey store owner, you gotten registered with the coppers yet?"

"No, I haven't," he replied. "I just keep putting it off."

"Well, you better do it soon. Tomorrow’s the last day and there's a three to four day line."

Later that night, he phoned Katherine. "Hi, Kathy? It's me, Donald. I've totally forgotten to register with the police and it may take a few days. I need you to take over the store for however long it takes me to come back. Can you handle that?"

"All right," she replied with jubilation. "Store owner, for, like four days? Awesome. I'll need extra pay for that though."

"Whatever you want Kathy. I don't have any time to make other arrangements."

"Cool," she said, and hung up.

Next morning, bright and early, Donald went over to the police station, and got in what seemed like a mile long line of men. There were vending machines and restrooms but no chairs and at night everyone slept on the tiled floor.

Finally, he got to the front of the line, and approached a police officer.

"Name?" she demanded, looking at him for only a brief instant.

"Donald West," he replied.

"Date of birth, height, and weight," she demanded impatiently.

"March nineteenth, nineteen seventy four. One hundred sixty pounds. Five foot three inches."

"Go over to Mrs. Kelly," she commanded, pointing to a beautiful brunette standing behind an ink pad.

"Put out your right hand" Mrs. Kelly demanded. Hesitantly, Donald complied. Mrs. Kelly then grabbed the hand and pressed it down into the ink pad, smearing ink all over his palm. She then pressed it roughly against a white piece of paper.

"Now your left," she demanded. This time he was a little more hesitant. Mrs. Kelly very impatiently grabbed his left hand and did the same thing.

"This isn't pulling teeth you know. I've been doing this all day and I’d like it if you would speed things up," she said.

"Now wipe your hands off," she said, handing him a paper towel. He did.

"Go over to the wall, put your hands on it and spread your legs," she demanded.

"What?" he began to protest.

"Just do it!" she yelled. "We need our officers to practice arrest and search procedures on males and we don't have any male employees or willing volunteers. We're picking random citizens as subjects and if you don't comply it's ten days in jail. Now I'm sick of explaining this over and over again, so do I have to repeat myself?"

Donald did as he was told. A bunch of female cops came into the room. One of them walked up behind him and started patting him down. Then she grabbed his wallet and threw it back. He didn't say anything. He would get it back, wouldn't he? Then she reached her hands down between his legs and grabbed his balls. She first patted lightly and then gave them a firm squeeze. The mild pain and shock of the experience kept him silent and motionless. Then she continued to pat him down and finally stopped.

The same thing happened with each of the others, about ten of them. They all grabbed his balls as part of their frisking, some harder than others. A few of them squeezed hard enough to cause him to start to double over. None of them gave any concern to the matter. When all of them were done, he was told to turn around to face them, which he did.

Finally, Mrs. Kelly spoke again. "Okay, that went well people. Now it's time for the arrest of the more hostile citizen." With that, one of the women went up to him, reached out and grabbed his balls and his throat at the same time. She squeezed both hard and Donald was driven back towards the wall. He started to choke and started to struggle to get free. Her grip was like iron, however, and he was too light-headed to think, especially with the firm iron grip on his balls.

Finally, she stopped, leaving him to catch his breath. His throat was sore, and his balls were pounding like hammers. He started to cough and then inhale in short, struggling bursts.

"Good," Mrs. Kelly continued. "You see how incapacitated the male was? Now it's time for some more practices," she said, with a grin. Suddenly, Donald noticed that all of the women had grins on their faces, and a chill ran down his spine.

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