Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Busted Balls and Ego

By Busted Jay

I work with two women one of whom, Karen, never seemed to have anything but contempt and sarcasm for me. She is a good looking tall brunette. The other, Linda, is an older petite sexy brunette. After many deliberations (discussed on the old forum) we eventually got it together. However although I thought she might be into busting I never really plucked up the courage to ask her.


A few weeks ago Linda was working out of the office for the day and for the first time Karen actually bothered to hold a civil conversation with me. By the end of the day I actually found that I was starting to like her as a person. When the time came to go home she asked me if I could work over to help finish the current backlog. I couldn't see why not after all Linda wouldn't be back until late and Christmas is coming.

As the evening wore on she suddenly asked me, "Why don't men find me attractive?" I was a little surprised. It wasn't the kind of thing I expected her to say. I tried my best to do the 'understanding male' thing.

I said, "But you are attractive; you probably haven't found the right person yet."

"So why did you start seeing Linda and not me?"

HELP!!! "You didn't give me a chance!" I said trying to be as diplomatic as possible. Alarm bells were starting ring in my head (maybe my pants!)

"Well I'm giving you a chance now!" (Somebody wake me; up this only happens in movies.)

Before I could actually say anymore I'm ashamed to say we were kissing. As we became more passionate her hand was between my legs squeezing my balls. At that point reality kicked in!

"I can't do this," somebody who sounded like me said.

"HOW DO YOU MEAN YOU "CAN'T DO THIS"?" she screamed at me at the same time her grip tightened on my balls very painfully. I should have been in heaven but I suddenly remembered I was supposed to be a gentleman! (HELL I'd been dying for this for ages.) She was still squeezing my balls and I wondered how I was going to get her off me and still keep them.

Suddenly she let go and got off me I left and limped (my balls were sore!) home without saying a word. This should have been end of story.

When I got in Linda was home and on the phone she looked at me but didn't smile (strange). Then she said "OK Karen, I'll see you tomorrow." (What the hell was Karen phoning Linda for?

"Where have you been?"

"Karen asked me to work over," I said defensively.

"Why didn't you say no?"

"You know me-can't say no to a woman in authority!" Wrong answer. Before I could say anything else I only saw a blur as her foot shot out. The next thing I know I was doubled up clutching my balls. (Linda had actually kicked me!)

"IS THAT ENOUGH AUTHORITY FOR YOU?" she shouted at me. I was in agony and ecstasy at the same time! She had caught me good and at that moment I was in no position to answer her. Only feel her knee that smacked into my face as she followed up.

"Karen just told me that you tried it on with her. That she had to fight you off."


She was blazing I had never seen her mad like that before. Isn't it strange how a woman can look as sexy as hell when she's mad with you? (I digress.) I desperately needed to explain that she had it all wrong that wasn't what happened.

"Linda let me explain; you've got it all wrong," I said as she turned away from me. Up until that point I had always believed a woman could only real bust me if I wanted her to. Foolishly I took her arms and turned her to me (maybe I secretly wanted her to bust me again)she did some strange maneuver and locked my arms at the same time she brought her knee up into my groin twice it felt like she had driven my balls into my stomach. I just screamed and fell to the floor I must have looked pathetic just writhing on the floor in agony.

All I could hear was her saying "Don't you dare touch me!" Most women would have left it at that but the next thing I know she's on top of me pulling my hair and punching me in the face. I was defenseless and it slowly dawned on me that I was getting beaten up for the first time in my life by a WOMAN! I could taste the blood in my mouth and also feel my right eye closing and my nose swelling. I think she saw it too because she suddenly stopped. She got off me and I could hear her crying at the same time she just kept asking "Why?" over and over again.

I don't know how long I was on the ground for but after a while I felt a cloth on my nose and lip. I wouldn't have minded but I had actually turned Karen down and here I was having shit kicked out of me by my girlfriend because of it. It was at that point she decided to ask me for my version of events! Just a tad bit late I think it was guilt at the blood.

When I got to work the next day I looked a sight a black eye, a busted lip and a swollen nose. That's not to mention a bruised pair of balls. I told everyone that I'd gotten into a fight in the pub. Karen on the other hand was laughing I think she knows what happened, Bitch!

Linda and I are still together it's taken a lot of work but she believes my version of events and is now even able to joke about it! One good thing to come out of all this is that I found out that Linda holds a brown belt in karate even though she hasn't practiced for years. Good? Yes because I have always fantasized about having my own Karate Mistress!

Karen on the other hand still insists her version of events is true after Linda tackled her. Thinking about it now I should count my self lucky that she didn't accuse me publicly of trying to rape her otherwise I could really have been in trouble. At the moment I'm looking for a new job I don't particularly want to work with some like that. Next time I could be looking at court or prison I mean who is going to take my word against hers?

Detective Busty Balls

By bsims1

Busty Balls was getting ready for the talent portion of the fitness competition. She wasn't built for fitness but built for sex. Busty was a 30 year old black women with stunning features, people would often asked her if she was related Halle Berry. She was 5'8" 140lbs with strong defined legs that went up forever. She had large 38C breasts with large and firm nipples. Her ass was shapely and firm (As Sir Mix A Lot says, “Baby Got Back”).

In the two contests she entered she had gotten no higher than fourth place. Being that she was 4-6 inches taller and 10-30lbs heavier than the normal fitness participant she could be an intimidating figure. But lucky for her she had a day job as a detective for the LAPD. She had a tough as nails reputation and had brought in many a bad man. One thing all her arrests had in common was someone's balls were either busted, bruised, ruptured or just plain pulverized.

Busty went out and did her dance routine, which was closer to striptease than hip hop. Between her splits, twirls and pelvic grinds you could see several of the male judges getting uncomfortable because of growing erections. There was one celebrity judge Bart Blue, he was your local shock jock on the radio and was very degrading to women. Bart looked particularly uncomfortable.

After her set she walked off the stages to cheers of a very hot and bothered crowd. She got back to the dressing area and her friend Ginger congratulated her. Ginger was your fitness poster child. She had long blond hair on her 5'3”, 110lb sculptured body. Ginger had won a competition earlier in the year and she was in the lead for this one.

There was a break while the judges did their final tally. While all the contestants were back in the dressing area Bart made his way backstage. He was congratulating all the contestants with what you could call a hug. With every contestant he would feel their ass and try to trail his hands down to their crotch. Busty hated this guy and ignored him but he just had to make his was over to Busty.

She said, “Freeze asshole! You know what you’re doing is sexual misconduct a class 2 felony - punishable by having your balls busted.”

Bart said, “Hold on. I just want to congratulate you, so be nice now. Let me have a hug.

Busty said, “You know I have a rep.”

Bart said, “I bet!” Busty let him have his one hug and true to form he hand started down her shapely ass toward her crotch. Bart whispered to her, “Your lips say no but your body…”

He never completed the sentence. He didn't notice her knee rocketing toward his groin. Busty connected as she had so often in the line of duty. Bart let out a high pitch scream of agony. Everyone stopped what they were doing to see what was going on. Bart wanted to crumble but Busty shoved him against the wall and held him up.

Busty said, “My rep is I bust balls, asshole!” She punctuated that statement by raising her right hand and swinging it in an arc that ended with a vise like grip in to Bart’s balls. He could barely breathe and was in incredible agony. His face was contorted trying to beg her to stop crushing his balls. Busty increased her pressure and said, “Say ‘sorry’ asshole, before I feed you your fucking balls.” Bart was really squirming now but there was too much pressure on his ball to get out anything audible. After thirty seconds of ball squeezing he passed out.

Busty let him slump to the floor and said, “You're under arrest, you prick.”



By brian00

This is a very true story about an old friend of mine. For whatever reason, I have always been fascinated with ball busting, and I believe it originated in my childhood. I had accidentally swung my hand into a schoolmates balls one day and have since been in love with the hobby. Of all the times I’ve hurt a guys balls, this is one of the most memorable. If I titled it, it would have to be My First Orgasm.

When I was 16, and had just received my driver’s license, my friend Michelle and I (Stacy) were planning to visit a male friend’s house named Mike. To summarize our physical descriptions, I was around 5’4”, brown hair, and weighed 140-150 pounds. Michelle however, was blonde (I know), her weight was about the same, but she was about 6 inches or so taller. Michelle was usually very aggressive, while I was more or less the passive type; but not on this day. Anyway, I’ll get on to the story.

I believe it was a Monday when Michelle and I were supposed to be at our friend Mike’s house at 7:00 PM to watch a movie; he said his parents weren’t going to be home. I wasn’t able to get her until about 8:30 and we didn’t get to Mike’s until 9. This was thanks to my parents, who insisted that I eat dinner with the family that evening.

When we got to Mike’s, we walked in like we always do. However, this time he was lying on the couch in his underwear; wearing the Haynes brand as I recall. He was very embarrassed to say the least. I was quite enjoying the view of him in his undies, but Michelle laughed at him and told him that he didn’t have anything worth covering up with underwear in the first place. I imagine that didn’t make him feel too good, because he retaliated with shots aimed at her ego as well. He told her that he seen her in her bra and panties once, and that she looked like a little Smurf; complete with the flat chest. Of course Michelle didn’t take this very well. So she told him he was dead and started heading his way. Remember when I said Michelle was the aggressive type? Well Mike new this, so I really don’t know what he was thinking. As far as I’m concerned, he willingly walked right into his problems.

Michelle backed him into the living room wall. Using her forearms to hold his shoulders against the wall, she started kneeing his balls repeatedly with great force. Eventually, after six or seven times, she let him slide to the floor. Although he couldn’t really speak at the time, we could see how much pain he was in; and quite honestly, it excited me to witness this. After not even four or five minutes, Michelle climbed onto him and sat on his chest facing his feet. She was holding his arms down flat on the floor, and told him she would destroy his balls if he tried to throw her off. She then called for me to come over and help, but I was very hesitant at first. Although getting guys in the balls is fun, I didn’t want to ruin a good friendship over it. Yet at the same time, I was so excited that I didn’t really care. When I say excited, I really mean sexually excited. I had always enjoyed this sort of thing, but this was the first time that I felt sexual pleasure as well; it’s very difficult to explain.

Needless to say, I really wanted to get his balls since they were now such an easy target. I walked over to him and pulled his legs away from each other. I remember that it was a nice view, but at the same time it was kind of awkward. I improvised and pushed his knees back towards Michelle while keeping his legs apart. This position was ideal; as I could just sort of lean forward on his legs, and my weight held them in place.

What I saw next was probably one of the biggest highlights of the evening. His underwear must have been somewhat old, as they were so thin that his balls were somewhat visible through the faded white fabric. Seeing this made my heart skip a beat, so I looked up at Michelle. As well, she was staring in amazement at my find.

I didn’t want to waste too much time, so I lifted my knee up and smashed it right down into the center of his balls. As my knee hit directly on target, I could feel the smooth and semi-rounded balls being crushed from the force. The feeling of pleasure I felt while inflicting pain between his legs was unimaginable; this pleasure had to continue on.

I pulled my knee up and slammed it down into his spongy balls over and over, enjoying the burning hot sensation between my own legs. Each blow to his balls brought me closer and closer to having the orgasm of my dreams. Of course, looking straight down at his nearly showing balls probably helped a little as well. I looked up at Michelle, and she appeared to be REALLY enjoying the show; she was rubbing herself to orgasm (at fifteen years old!). Even though she saw me look at her, she continued rubbing herself like there was no tomorrow.

I finally stopped kneeing his balls about ten minutes or so into it. I had expected him to either be crying or pass out by then, but Mike continued to struggle and moan about how bad they hurt. I figured that since Michelle was being so open about rubbing herself, she wouldn’t mind me getting out of my sweatpants before I continued on. I let go of Mike’s legs and stood up to remove my sweats, but left my shirt on. I wanted an orgasm; I didn’t necessarily want to show them both my boobs. Besides, it would have just given Mike something to mock me about later. Trust me; he would have had something derogatory to say about them.

After I removed my sweats, I told Mike that I was trying to be fair; he and I were both in our undies. I had Michelle get off of him and help me turn him on his belly. Of course he gave us problems, but after a few hard smacks to the balls he stopped all the struggling.

I told Michelle to sit on his lower back so her weight would hold him down, but yet she would still be able to see what I was doing him. I spread his legs open enough to get my hand around his balls. As I tightened my grip around them, I could tell it wouldn’t be long until I reached an orgasm. I gripped his balls and started pulsating with very unsympathetic squeezes. Each squeeze of those balls got me closer and closer. As I crushed them between my fingers, I used my free hand to rub myself; not caring that Michelle could see my every move. In the back of my mind, I remembered that the slightly orange colored panties I was wearing became somewhat transparent when they were wet. I can only imagine the detail that Michelle could see as I rubbed myself to ecstasy.

As my orgasm grew near, the grip around Mike’s poor balls became stronger. I stopped squeezing both of them, and focused on pinching either ball and began to really enjoy what I was actually doing to him; causing his sensitive and vulnerable balls great pain in order to pleasure myself. I soon heard a moan that, for the first time, was not Mike’s voice. Being a bit distracted, I looked over at Michelle. She had just reached her climax and was vigorously trying to grind her clit into Mike’s lower back while alternating her view between my panties and my hand pinching one of his balls. As I looked down between my own legs, I could see that my suspicion about the transparency was correct; she could see every feature of my wet and shaven self. The feeling of this voyeuristic situation combined with the feeling of Mike’s ball being crushed between my fingers was just too much. I shrieked loudly and squeezed Mike’s poor ball firmly as I had the most gratifying and intense orgasm of my entire life. Even to this very day, almost ten years later, no self-induced orgasm has come close to that magnitude.

The rest of the story is pretty much as you would expect. We were embarrassed, so we got dressed and got out of there. As far as I know, Mike never did pass out, but yet his mother found out and contacted my mother and Michelle’s mother the very next day. Michelle didn’t get in trouble, but I was literally grounded for six months. School was the only way I could see or talk to Michelle, and everyone seemed to know what happened. Neither of us ever heard from Mike again, but I wouldn’t expect we should. Although I hated to see the friendship die, he will forever live in my heart as the man that gave me my first orgasm.

My Experience

By Bettina

I found this forum when surfing around and as I'm learning English I thought it would be a good exercise to write down about my experience. I didn't know there are guys who like it to be beaten up like this but I can say that the one I beat up didn't like it!

It happened in school, during a swimming lesson, when I was about fourteen. At that time we had mixed lessons, guys and girls together. We were diving after rings and, as there weren’t enough rings around, a guy and I began to quarrel about one of them. I took the ring and ran away with it. He got upset and ran after me through the whole swimming hall, while the others didn’t pay any attention at us. Finally, he managed to catch me in a corridor. He held me tight around the arms standing behind me and my situation was quite desperate as he was about five inches taller than me and much stronger. However, he couldn’t get the ring and I didn’t want to give it back to him.

The situation was quite senseless for him but he suddenly began to enjoy it as he pressed his dick against my muscular bottom. We stood like this for some time, while he still pretended to fight for the ring. I had only one way to get out of this situation: I ram my heel in his knee. As he slightly lowered his grip I managed to turn myself against him and lifted my leg into his nuts. I didn’t really get him as he was standing too close to me but I heard an “aow” and his hands went down. I quickly ran away from him and this could have been the end of the story if I hadn’t been so stupid to run right into a dead-end, where they used to store some material. As I turned round he already was on me, pressing me to the wall.

I could see the anger on his face. His lips were trembling and his eyes threw flashes at me. He had a good grip on me: With his right hand he hold my right wrist, and pinned my other arm against my chest, using his whole weight, while his left hand cup his aching family jewels.

“So what are you going to do now, little girl, no dirty tricks anymore?” he grinned. It was obvious that he enjoyed it to press his arm on my breasts. They were still developing and extremely sensitive at that time. I felt absolutely helpless in his strong grip and was afraid of what was coming next. I couldn't do anything anymore as he protected his nuts having learnt fast from the lesson I just had taught him. When I had a look to his narrow bathing shorts I noticed that he had a quite remarkably erection, which he couldn’t cup with his hand.

As he was too preoccupied starring at my breasts, I got one hand free and punched him with all my force in the tip of his dick. He bent over with a loud cry and let go. He wasn’t of any harm for me anymore as he hardly couldn’t fight from pain but to be sure I grabbed him by the shoulders and ram my knee into his nuts as hard as I could.

He felt down holding his wounded genitals with both hands. I’ve never seen anybody in such a pain as he was. His face turned red, he grasped for air. During a moment, he opened his mouth but couldn’t make a single sound then he began to cry like a baby. I felt so powerful to have beaten up this strong bloke by myself.

“So what are you going to do now, big boy?” I laughed at him. “You wanted to feel my skin, well, you got it. By the way: If it hurts too much, I can still cut it off!” I spent a few more minutes with him, making jokes on his defeated manhood while he laid on the floor in pain.

After this experience I must say, well, it sometimes sucks to be a girl, but it’s definitely better than to be a guy, as that must be very painful sometimes. At least judging by his cries and his tears.

Pain and Pleasure

By benkicked

It was the summer between my sophomore and junior year in high school. I was 16 years old, my hormones were raging and I needed some excitement and release. I was about to get that and more.

About 10:00 pm on a warm July night I was wandering around outside my house bored and looking for trouble when the city bus stopped about a block down the street. I noticed a small woman step from the bus and begin to walk south in the direction of my house.

She looked familiar, like the girl who grew up in the house next door but in the darkness I could not say for sure. Sarah, that girl next door was about six years older than me and had been my “sitter” years ago when my parents needed a break. I hadn’t seen her around the neighborhood lately and wondered if this might be her.

Hormones aggressively stirred as my thoughts focused on Sarah and our brief relationship. Back then she was a small, extremely cute high school student who had to watch me, a tall, immature youngster with a smart mouth. I thought she was beautiful; she thought I was a dork.

Suddenly, thoughts raced through my head. If this was Sarah, why don’t I surprise her, stir up some excitement, see where it leads. Hell, if nothing else, I might create an interesting scenario that I can whack off to later that night. I’m bored, stir up some shit!

Without hesitation, I jumped my fence and headed around my backyard towards Sarah’s house next door. The house was dark, so I quickly crept towards the large, thick bushes that lined the outside of her parents’ home. In the bushes and with stealth, I slowly made my way towards the front of the house where I could spy on the young woman walking. God I hope this is Sarah!

As she made her way down the block, she began to cross the street. Her face, once hidden in the darkness was now revealed by the streetlight. It was Sarah and immediately my heart began to race, blood pumping furiously throughout my body, most of it passing through my DICK!

It had been several years since I last saw her but make no mistake that was Sarah. From what I could see, the pretty, petite blonde was wearing a white blouse, short white skirt with white stockings and white heels. A nurse’s uniform I thought? Hey this IS getting interesting!

She moved slowly down the walk towards her front porch. I was quietly in position and at just the right time, I would leap from the bushes and scare her. Why not, she bossed me around enough times that payback was in order. My adrenaline was surging as she came closer and closer towards the scare zone.

A step away from the porch, I came bolting from the bushes with a menacing look and a growl to match. She let out a high-pitched squeal as her body turned towards the large fool in front of her. Without hesitation, and with considerable power, she brought her right foot up and landed a swift kick between my legs. Both of my balls received the toe of her high-heeled shoe as they tried desperately to find shelter within my body. The pain I felt from her small foot immediately rushed from my balls to my brain and back again. I fell to the ground like a 200-pound bag of rocks falling from a loading dock.

She stared down at my body below and began raising her leg to stomp down on my helpless balls when I gasped “Sarah! It’s me Michael.” Confused, she looked at me trying to remember the voice and face. “Michael, your next door neighbor,” I stammered. “You watched me when I was younger” I managed through the groans.

“You asshole!” she screamed. “What is your problem?” “Why are you jumping from the bushes like that scaring me? “You asshole!”

“I’m sorry…..I’m very sorry I did that,” I groaned as I was still rolling on the ground holding my aching nuts and gasping for air. “God my balls hurt…I’m so sorry Sarah…that was a stupid thing to do”

“Yes Michael that was stupid and you are lucky I didn’t stomp your balls into the pavement,” she said. “What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled, “just trying to have some fun I guess.”

“Fun? What do you find fun about scaring me and getting your nuts kicked?” she asked. I couldn’t tell her and didn’t quite know myself but somehow despite the pain in my balls, something excited me.

“I could have really hurt you,” she said.

“What makes you think you didn’t?” I shot back.

“Come on, get up. I’m house sitting while my folks are on vacation and it appears you are in need of some care. Let me help you into the house,” she offered.

She helped me to my feet and I struggled up the stairs, my body weak and trembling from the viscous kick she delivered only moments before. She opened the door and led me to the couch in the middle of the living room where she told me to lay down.

“Slip off your pants and underwear,” she commanded as she walked towards the kitchen.

“What?” I said incredulously.

“I said take off you pants and underwear. Do you want you balls to ache all night?” she impatiently called from the other room.

As I lay on the couch, I slowly unbuckled my belt and moved my pants down below my knees leaving my underwear in place. Sarah retuned from the kitchen with a bag of ice and admonished, “Remove your underwear, how can I care for your swollen balls if you don’t cooperate?”

As I sheepishly removed my underwear, it was obvious that everything I had down there was beginning to swell. My balls seemed to grow before my eyes and my penis followed. Sarah could see immediately my embarrassment and said softly “It’s alright Michael, I’ve seen them before, remember?” I smiled at her lovely face.

Sarah gently cupped my swollen balls in her small right hand. Lifting them slightly, she said, “It looks like your boys will need some tender loving care. Supporting them like this should relieve some of the pain you are feeling.” Almost immediately, the ache in my nuts began to release and the knot in my stomach seemed to loosen as well.

“I can’t let these poor little guys hang loose after they have been traumatized by a sweet little girl like me now can I?” she cooed. I almost shot my load then and there!

“Traumatized?” I questioned, “More like destroyed.”

“No Michael,” she reassured me. “They will be ok. They just need a little love and attention. If you haven’t noticed, I am a nurse and I have treated men with swollen balls before. Maybe not quite like this,” she said with a mischievous grin. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Much better, thank you Sarah.”

My vulnerable balls lay softly in her caring hand. “You know,” she said, again with that mischievous grin. “If I wanted to, I could squeeze these precious little balls of yours sending an unbearable pain shooting through your body that would render these guys useless.” Just when I thought my dick couldn’t get any harder, it did!

“I am feeling very powerful at the moment,” she stated as a matter of fact.

“I realize that Sarah and I thank you for being so kind and gentle,” I sheepishly offered. “Did I mention I was extremely sorry?”

“You’re a lucky young man Michael, I considered another swift kick to your bag and sending you on you way but I am a compassionate person,” she smiled. “My little toes really rocked your nuts didn’t they?” she giggled, still holding them both in her hand.

“And yours are not the first I’ve rocked!” she boasted.

“Really?” I questioned, hoping to hear of her experience.

“Do you remember Gary Jacobs who lived a few blocks over? One day in eighth grade, I got so fed up with his smart mouth that I snuck up behind him while he was bent over the drinking fountain and kicked his nuts so hard he cried all day. He never saw it coming and was so embarrassed he wouldn’t come anywhere near me for months!” she bragged.

“Then in high school, I sent Hugh Braddock to the hospital when he wouldn’t leave me alone. The stud football jock got his balls crushed by the pretty little cheerleader. I warned him but he didn’t think I had the guts to kick him. Well he got two kicks for his troubles, one to get him off of me and the second for my own pleasure. He apologized later and told me his nuts were swollen for weeks. I really got a reputation after that one. But all of the boys showed me respect and the girls thought I was a hero.”

“Wow,” I said amazed. “I guess I picked the wrong girl to scare,” I lied.

“Well, just be thankful we were able to locate them both,” she laughed. “Feeling better?”

“Yes, my stomach isn’t churning as bad,” I said.

“Okay then Michael, I have some good news and some bad news. Here is the good news,” she said just before she slid my rock hard cock into her warm, moist mouth. Still gently supporting my balls, she worked her lips up and down my shaft in a slow rhythm. Up and down she glided, enjoying the moment. The warmth of her mouth and the gentle stroke of her tongue made it apparent that the good news would soon end with a satisfying explosion.

“Oh Sarah,” I moaned as I could hold back no longer, my dick shooting warm juice into her receptive mouth. “Oh Sarah…Sarah,” was all I could manage as my nuts emptied. She finished swallowing my deposit and said; “Now that took your mind off your aching balls for a few minutes didn’t it?” Absolutely I thought, as I lay back exhausted.

After a relaxed moment or two I remembered there was more to come. “Listen Sarah, I can’t thank you enough for the good news but the bad news you mentioned kind of concerns me.”

“Well” she said as she grabbed the bag of ice. “It’s important we keep the swelling in your balls to a minimum.” She rested the cold bag atop my swollen balls and the frozen jolt sent tingles throughout my body. “About 30 minutes should do it,” she ordered, “Now lay back and relax sweetie.”

A most excruciating pain and a most delightful pleasure I thought.